The Amherst Hamster:
Mission Statement

The hamster mindlessly scurries on its metallic wheel. Caught in a cycle, caged in between four walls, the hamster longs for its freedom. We tame hamsters and make light of their monotony. We laugh at their pointless tasks: water drinking, food gathering, and endless hours of sleep and play. Hamsters amuse us as pets while they simultaneously reinforce our notion of human control. However, we are too similar to the hamster then we would like to admit.

We too are caught in a cyclical Amherstian wheel, reeking of the same monotony that hinders the freedom of our hamster friends. We like to see our daily activities as different and greater than the hamster's. As humans, we fear comparisons to the hamster because similarities threaten to devalue our own existence. We fear attacks on our senses of individuality and moral worth. We fear that any sort of comparison will reveal that our cycles may too be full of sound and fury while signifying nothing. The pedestal that humanity has hoisted itself upon will soon crumble. The deceptions and illusory artificial creations cannot be upheld much longer. Like a scuba diver submerged underwater, the oxygen in humanity's pedestal is running out.

The Amherst Hamster aims to turn normalcy upside down and to put a spin on the everyday conventions of Amherst life. Using humor and satire to heighten intellectual stimulation on campus, the Hamster will be the starting ground from which people challenge and reconsider their social perceptions. For at the Amherst Hamster, nothing is immune and nothing is sacred. Prepare for the ride.